知己 | Kindred Spirits

In Chinese, the beautiful word for kindred spirit - 知己 - literally means "knowing myself." For many years, I was still in pursuit of self-knowledge. During that journey, I had dear friends who walked beside me, sharing companionship through school and later life. Yet it wasn't until recent years, as my self-understanding deepened, that I began to truly learn the art of cultivating deep friendships.

I remain a beginner in this art. My attempts to connect deeply with friends I value succeed sometimes more than others. Yet I'm grateful for those who give me space to grow in this domain, and in some cases, are growing alongside me in understanding true friendship.

True connection, I've found, emerges when we dare to share the parts of ourselves usually hidden behind ego. There is profound solace in sharing our doubts and insecurities with someone who validates them not as oddities, but as shared human experiences they too understand. I've found this kind of connection most often with women.

Growing up, I was somewhat of a tomboy, spending school breaks playing ping pong and basketball with boys while other girls watched. I "friend-zoned" those who wrote me love letters, preferring to call them brothers. In my mind, friendship was the highest form of connection - I couldn't comprehend the notion of being "never more than friends." How could a romantic relationship, often tainted by jealousy and possessiveness, be "more than" friendship?

I send out love to all my dear friends and to those I've yet to meet - to all who share the capacity and desire to truly know each other and walk together through life's various seasons.